As a family lawyer in Bucks County, I often find myself in lengthy discussions about child custody, and unfortunately, misconceptions are everywhere. These misunderstandings create unnecessary anxiety, and I’d like to set the record straight.
Let’s clear the air on some of the most common child custody myths and understand the reality of these legal arrangements.
1. Mothers Always Get Custody
One of the biggest misconceptions I hear related to child custody is that mothers always get the children. While this may have been true in the past, modern courts focus on what’s best for the child, regardless of the parent’s gender.
Philadelphia Family Court, in particular, bases its decision on numerous factors, including:
- Parental Involvement:Courts look at how active each parent is in their child’s life. If one parent has taken on more responsibilities, like attending school events or managing medical appointments, that can influence the decision.
- Stability:This refers to the overall environment the child will be in, including factors like housing stability and available support systems. Courts want to make sure the child is living in a home that is physically and emotionally safe for them.
- Financial Capabilities:While financial status isn’t the only factor, the court will consider whether each parent can meet the child’s needs.
If the court determines that the child will benefit from having strong relationships with both parents, it will often seek to create a custody arrangement that supports that goal.
2. Custody is Always Decided in Court
Many believe that child custody must be settled in court, with a judge delivering the final verdict. While it’s true that some cases do go to litigation, a significant number are resolved through mediation or negotiation.
Mediation goes through a neutral third party who assists both parents in discussing their needs and concerns. This process can be more constructive, provided parents are willing to work together. Although legal representation can be present, it’s not mandatory.
Ultimately, the best approach varies depending on the unique circumstances of each family. Many parents find that mediation helps them maintain a cooperative relationship, which is especially important when co-parenting. So, it is possible to reach a mutually agreeable custody arrangement without ever needing to set foot in a courtroom.
3. If You Get Child Custody, You Also Get Child Support
Some parents assume custody and child support go hand in hand, i.e., if you are granted one, you are automatically given the other. However, this is highly inaccurate.
Child custody and child support are two separate legal matters. Custody focuses on where the child lives and how much time they spend with each parent. Child support, on the other hand, is a financial obligation for the child’s care.
For example, let’s say you are granted primary custody. As the custodial parent, your child lives with you. However, you also have a higher income. If the court sees it fit, you may be required to pay the other parent child support to cover the child’s expenses while the child is in their care. I know how surprising this may seem, but it is entirely possible!
Given these complexities, it’s always worth consulting a family lawyer, such as myself, who can explain the nuances and help negotiate a fair support agreement.
4. Joint Custody Means Equal Time With Each Parent
When parents hear the term “joint custody,” they often think it means the child spends equal time with each parent. However, that is rarely the case. But before I clarify this legal arrangement, it is important to understand that there are two types: joint legal custody and joint physical custody.
- In Joint legal custody, parents share decision-making responsibilities regarding major aspects of their child’s life, such as education, healthcare, religious upbringing, and so on.
- Joint physical custodyconcerns where the child actually resides. While parents may assume this means a 50/50 time split, duration is not the deciding factor.
Remember, the court always puts the child’s best interests first. So, if it’s decided that one parent should have the child during the week while the other gets weekends, that’s the arrangement. It may not feel fair to the parents, but the child’s well-being takes precedence above all else.
5. The Child Decide Where They Want to Live
I can’t tell you the number of times I have heard a parent say, “My child wants to live with me, so I should get full custody.” It’s just not that simple! While the court may listen to the child’s preferences, that alone is not the deciding factor.
As I have mentioned repeatedly, the court’s focus is the child’s needs – emotional, physical, and financial. If the parent they want to live with can’t provide the level of care or stability the child needs, the court won’t grant that request, no matter how much the child asks for it.
Now, for older kids, especially teenagers, opinions do carry more weight. This age group has more maturity, and the court recognizes that. But, even then, it’s never just about what the child wants. The court will always consider the whole picture.
6. Only Biological Parents Can Get Custody
When it comes to child custody, it’s not just about biology. If a grandparent, stepparent, or long-term guardian has proven to be the primary caregiver, they can absolutely petition for custody – and, in such cases, should.
Imagine a grandparent who has been there for the child day in and day out, stepping in when the biological parents were unable to provide care. Does it make sense to ignore that role simply because of biology? Of course not.
At the end of the day, custody is about who is truly acting in the child’s best interest. The law recognizes that sometimes, the person best suited to care for a child isn’t always the one who shares the most DNA. So, if you’ve been playing the role of a parent – biological or not – and want to continue being a part of a child’s life, it’s worth exploring your legal rights.
Final Thoughts
Child custody arrangements are emotionally charged as is, and misconceptions only add to the confusion, clouding judgment. I encourage you to educate yourself so you can approach this process with a clear understanding and prepare accordingly. Knowing the facts empowers you to advocate for your rights and make informed choices for your children’s future.
If you pursuing a custody arrangement, don’t hesitate to reach out. As a highly qualified family law attorney in Bucks County, I can help you navigate the system, keeping your child front and center.
Call (215) 750-9202 today to learn more. Together, we can find a solution that supports your child’s well-being.
